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7/22/2010 - Beauty and The Devil

My messageboards have crashed and have been replaced - Message Boards - I will try to dig up some of the old topics...


7/6th - 2010 - Visit the gallery to see the new slide show of Pictures

June 30th - Conversations

Can I feel it with my mind ?
One can only feel , if it stings.
May I touch it , just this one time ?
If theres no complaint about what that brings.

When have you ever felt this alive ?
I`ve nothing to compare it too , I`ve been so dead.
Do you consider that a moral blight ?
If ethics are contagious and easily spread.

Is what I`m spewing , all nonsense ?
You are overfilled with it , its only fair.
Does what I ask cause you offense ?
If it did , I really wouldn`t care.

Can you see that I`m not crazy ? Don`t you understand my meaning?
You should know that you can`t faze me , because I know that we`re just dreaming.



Jan 2010 Journal Entry - HAPPY NEW YEAR--yaay!!!!!!!!!

- It is not technically the beginning of a new Decade but I like to stubbornly refuse to acknowledge that detail. You`ll see from the blog around this day that the new year hasn`t started very well , and I didn`t mention the typical after holiday seasonal downswing at work which always makes me tense. I feel like I can`t win ...its maniacally busy and crazy during the fall causing me stress and then its ridiculously slow and unprofitable during the winter causing me stress.

BUT....despite the crappy start ...I intend to remain positive. This is the beginning of the decade (if this year sucks , I`ll say 2011 is the beginning of the decade as it truly is) and I intend to improve on last years improvements.

Lori and I have done well by staying active , eating properly , and going to the gym 4-5 days a week. We did a lot of hiking , kayaking and even snoe shoeing this year.

2008 I quit smoking - 2009 - lost 35 lbs

2010 and forward ...we intend to do more of the same and plan on trying out some cross country skiing. My codeword for personal improvement is ACTIVE. ...

Stay Active - that means physically and mentally. Lori and I also intend to ACTIVELY pursue friendships both new and cultivate existing ones. I think as a self-sufficient couple we get ourselves in a rut where we begin to lose touch with outside potentially positive influences. We are actively going to change that.

We have been pretty good at staying active on the weekends , either locally or planning some weekends away (usually new england). I want to be active during the week this year. We tend to stay home alot during the week. Even little things like going out for starbucks and reading to stay active.We started doing a date-night , once a week and mostly have done things like a movie , out to eat etc; If we run errands , that would be fine too. I get into these ruts where my car must immediately drive home after work and I must immediately take of my shoes. I do not do that on the weekend. I am going to actively change that habit.

Lori and I do pretty well passing time constructively , she has been scrapbooking again , keeping up with the house etc; I have my website , journals , occasional writing , and lots of reading and studying. I need to continue that. With the DVR we got this past year , I am not a slave to the TV , and have been and want to continue squeezing a little TV in a short compact amount of time. I get depressed when I spend an entire evening flipping channels. I haven`t helped around the house much this past year and plan on doing a better job of it this year instead of blaming Lori for a messy house. If I do some more consistent straightening , it will make things easier for Lori to do the actual Cleaning part without feeling overwhelmed.

I also MUST MUST - actively pursue happiness and contentment. I still am off the wall half the time , between temper tantrums , fits of rage , depression , bouts of dark and pessimistic moods and the occasional MANIC or get crazy and drown myself in liquor modes. I have done a little better the last few years and have even used the power of Positive Thinking by convincing myself that the holidays are good , and the fall is good. For a long time I have complained about the Fall due to work stress and haven`t enjoyed the season properly. Fall is a wonderful time of year , especially for active hikers , outdoorsy hangers , geocachers . fish catchers, kayakers and scenic drivers like us.
This year , I found many good moments during the fall , almost simply by repeating , I really Like the Fall and making it true thru habit. I did the same with the xmas and new years holidays with a more limited success but a major improvement of past years , where statements such as I Hate Xmas came out of my mouth a few hundred times in one month. Funny , what a little will power and mind over matter , and postive thinking can do.

I hope noone is actually reading this , coz its really just a personal journal for me, and even I`m bored with it , but I must trudge on. I must continue to remind myself of these goals throughout the year and Decade.

I have electronic phone reminders lined up for 3/15 6/15 9/15 to renew our new years vows of ACTIVE. This little trick has worked the last few years to get me back on track when I start slipping after a few months , forgetting how important my goals were at the time I created them. On those reminders are lists that give me ideas on how to achieve all these things. I`m not listing them here , coz their a bit corny and personal , even more-so than this little journal right here.

Many people this time of year , intend to make positive changes in their life , sometimes I feel that people put unreachable goals out in front of them , and when they ineviteably fail , stop trying altogether. I think the last 2 years , I have done pretty well sticking to my plans and not shooting the moon with my expectations.


Just chillin5//06/09 Finally - Reintrodced new message boards. COME VISIT AND SIGN IN TO THE NEW MESSAGE BOARDS -Stop in say hello , speak your mind.Complain , make fun of someone , say something constructive , start a discussion , Start a Fight , Introduce yourself , Make your self Known !

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